Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
