Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
