Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
