My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
