Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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