guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
