Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
