it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
