Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
True strength comes from lack of pants
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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