I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
