we made out on top of his cat.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
