Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
