they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
