About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
