also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
