you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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