dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
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Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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