Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I hate all girls vehemently.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
