I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think my fart just growled at me.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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