I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
