yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
