Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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