You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
