were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
