I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you made out with another girl for some wings
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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