i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
