Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
