I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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