The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
