Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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