exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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