i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
