Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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