I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
