I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think a kid would responsible me up
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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