I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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