I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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