Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
