Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
