margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
