I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
