I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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