I am puke
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
