I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
