Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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