Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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