Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
