There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
