Are we in a gay sports bar?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
