I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
