They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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