I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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